“Be kind to unkind people – they need it the most.”
Ashleigh Brilliant “
Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
Hi! Today I would like to share a short guide to being a kinder person. Becoming kinder not always easy though and I focus on being more consistent rather than trying to be perfect. But why even make the effort to be kinder? What’s the point? Why not just go about things as you usually do?
Three reasons pop up in my mind. By being kinder to others you tend to be kinder towards yourself. Perhaps a bit counterintuitive but this has been my experience.
You get what you give.
Yes, some people will be miserable and ungrateful no matter what you do for or to them. But most people will over time treat you as you treat them. Unfortunately, a lot of people will not take the first step. So if you want a change in your life you have to take responsibility for it and make those first moves. Sitting around waiting for someone else to do them could take the rest of your life. It makes your world and the world all in all a nicer place to live in.
So that’s the why.
Here is the how to.
Be grateful for what you got.
It’s very easy to take yourself, your life and the people around you for granted. Avoid that by using two minutes from time to time for reflecting on what you can be grateful for. Or write it down each day in a gratitude journal. Express it. Don’t hold in what you are grateful for. Say it. It may be that you are happy to have brought an umbrella on a rainy day. Or just a small thing such as saying thanks to someone for holding your books for a minute. But even such small expressions of gratitude can make your or someone else’s day better.
No one likes to be judged. And the more you judge people the more you tend to judge yourself. So it’s a lose-lose situation. Take it easy with the criticism. Constructive criticism has its place. But too much of that or criticism that won’t help anyone just makes people feel and perform worse. Try encouraging them instead. It makes work and the people involved – including you – easier to deal with and more fun.
Try to understand the other side.
It’s easy to stick to your point of view. But you can gain powerful insights about the other person and yourself too by trying to understand their point of view. This also tends to decrease harshness and negativity and can make it easier to reach an understanding where both parties feel more satisfied with the solution. Remember the small and kind gestures. Let someone in into your lane while driving your car. And hold up the door for the next person.
It’s easy to forget. Use whiteboards, your cell phone, post-its and other reminders in your daily environment. Awash yourself in the positive memories of the times when you were kind. When you remind yourself how good it felt to be kind and how you helped someone out and made them feel good too it becomes easier and easier to stay kind instead of questioning the habit.
Take the smarter and higher road.
Don’t be someone that people can walk all over, set boundaries and say no when needed. But recognize that unnecessary conflicts just waste your time and energy. And that some people are so addicted to the drama and conflicts that you will never win or reach an understanding between the two of you. There are more fun and good things to spend time on in your life. So try to reach an understanding in a kind sort of way. But if it doesn’t work then remove yourself from getting drawn into their conflicts and make the day better for both you and possibly them.
Be kind to yourself.
It’s OK and something that a lot of people don’t do enough. And it seeps over into your world and how you treat others just like how being kind to others seeps back into how you treat yourself.
reference: The Positivity Blog